im about as happy as oj after his trial
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
