Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
