you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
