watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
