so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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