Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
