Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
