doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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