i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
