he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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