I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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