I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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