It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
