im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
