i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Randomize
