I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
