u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
