I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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