Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
