Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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