just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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