He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
