the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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