i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
