hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We had to coat check the pizza.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
