i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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