Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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