PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
