All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
