Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
