last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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