i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
