whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize