Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize