He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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