the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
4 words: hood of his car
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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