I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
