I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
