Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
