she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
