Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
