but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
