I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
