get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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