worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
