I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
