Got a toothbrush?
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
