no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
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