they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
