Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
