you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
