you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
