my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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