She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
