I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Randomize
