Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
