we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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