Someone shit on the floor
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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