I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize
