Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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