The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
