I hate all girls vehemently.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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