You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
