I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
