dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
