he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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