I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
