just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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